I do not know how to respond to the global pandemic.
I am hopeful sometimes and then I am not. I am frustrated by the inconveniences the lock-down has brought about then I am reminded that it could get a lot worse than just inconvenient. Most days I am getting by. Living a day at a time. Washing my hands, staying home and avoiding touching my face.
How does one live through these times? Do you continue with the plans you had before the pandemic? Do you not? Do you simply put a hold on them or do you cancel them altogether? Do you make new ones in light of the situation?
Everything seems up in the air. Questions seem to be a lot more than answers. How long will the pandemic take? Will the economy be able to hold up under the months of total lock-downs? What will life look like after all this is over? There is so much uncertainty, it is unsettling.
Uncertainty gives way to anxiety. There is this cloud of impending doom. The feeling that the worst is yet to come.
Still I keep going. Doing what needs to be done each day. Making short term plans with two options; if the lock-down is lifted by then and if it is not. I try as much to avoid long term plans. Long term plans are dependent on so many factors. If the pandemic will be over, if it will be safe to freely move by then, if the economy would not have crumbled.
I have decided to focus on what is certain for now. Focusing on the uncertainties only causes me to oscillate between worry, anxiety, fear and frustration. Worry that I or someone in my family will get infected, anxiety over what lies in the future, fear of the prophesied second and third waves of the pandemic all of which is overwhelming.
The lock-downs and the pandemic will end someday for sure. In the meantime I will choose to focus on another certainty. That God is with us through it all. Through the anxiety, loss and grief that has come with this pandemic. I can rest in that as I wait for the world to open up.
Yunia Kazibwe is the founder of Adulting Out Loud. She is a wife, and mother to an amazing little girl. When she is not writing for the blog or recording for the podcast, Yunia loves spending lazy days with family, watching movies and catching up on a good series. Though she doesn’t currently have one, she loves cats.
Yunia prefers texting to phone calls, enjoys taking walks, and her favourite snack is popcorn. She often plays pranks on people, and only stops laughing to catch a breath.